Player responsibilities

Following up on my last post about GM roles, here are some thoughts on player responsibilities.

It may seem strange to put this much effort into what are, at the core of it, just games we play. But if it's to the greater good, then it's worth it.

We all want specific things out of our gaming experiences. Some things to consider:

1) How much time do you have? Our hobby is an odd one, in that it can require a pretty significant time commitment. I can't think of many other games, other than people who are really, really into a sport, that requires you to block out a 5-6 hour time period to play the game, as often as once a week, and may even require more time outside of that for doing things like character generation, or in some styles, keeping a character journal or helping develop material for the game.

If your time is constrained, and let's be honest, most of us have other commitments, be they work, or family, or other hobbies, it's good to get a sense of how much time a game will be taking, and how often. Be clear with your GM and the other players about how much time you have, and if the difference between what you have to give, and what is desired is too large, bow out, or work with the group to figure out a solution.

Related to this, there seems to be three rough categories for time commitments - there's the "show up and play once" of one-shots, the "we'll do this in 12 episodes" style that has a time limit, and the classic "we'll go as long as we want" of the on-going campaign. It's important to know what is expected.

On a personal note, these days, I find the first two much easier to deal with. Between negotiating time spent with my family, and the demands of work, it's much easier for me to block out the occasional one-shot, or a limited series of nights to play, rather than an open ended time commitment.

2) Listen to the GM. GMs sometimes have a hard time communicating exactly what sort of game they want to run - it might sound like just the sort of dark fantasy dealing with existential issues that you really love, but it might really be a dungeon crawl where the main goal is to have fun killing monsters. If you have any doubts, or even if you don't, get this defined ahead of time, and push the GM to tell you what they are wanting to have, since this is a key factor in your enjoyment.

3) Related to this - know what you like, and find out what the other players like and what the GM likes too. It will work better if you're all on the same page. If you really have fun playing for intrigue, and backstabbing, but everyone else hates that and wants to run things as a team, cooperating, then this might not be the game for you. It's entirely fine to try things out that may be outside of what you usually do, but our habits run deep, and it's best to make it clear that you're not completely 100% down with what appears to be the central theme, but want to try it anyway. That way, there aren't any surprises, and if the GM and other players are OK with you "trying it out" and possibly dropping out because you don't like it, they can at least plan for this ahead of time.

4) Strive for compassion - in other words, the game is not just about you. It's not just about the players, either. It's about the players and the GM and doing something together. This means that you shouldn't hog the spotlight, you should not try to drag the game in a direction that you find good but that others are not ok with, don't force things on other players (especially hot-button issues) without negotiation beforehand. You should make space in your play for others to interact with you, be open to things happening that might not be what you planned, and generally be flexible and keep others in mind at all times.

5) Keep in-game and out of game dialogs separate. Once you're playing, it's not the time to bring up how bored you are, or how much you hate what you're currently doing. Keep that for before or after the game. Of course, if there's no space to talk about the game outside of it, you might need to insist on it. Most GMs are actually really pleased to talk about how the game is going outside of it, but others aren't, or don't think about it. Being forthright and clear is the best strategy.

6) Whatever you do, don't sabotage things. Don't just act crazy out of spite, or boredom. Don't stir up trouble for the sake of trouble, and play in character. If you're playing someone who is law-abiding, for the most part, don't just go rogue because you aren't having a good time or the adventure isn't going quickly enough for you. Sit with the role. Figure out what you can do in character. If that doesn't work, talk to the GM, tell them that you're not having fun, and come with a list of suggestions for how to make it more interesting. This can range from "I want more combat" to "I was wondering what you thought of the idea of giving my character a storyline that goes something like this..."

7) And on that note, take pains to make sure that the GM and you are on the same page with what your character is like, and what's going on with them. This is especially important for those of us who like to really get into character, and often like to tell ourselves stories about the character - there's a danger that we'll go off the rails and then be disappointed when our stunningly detailed bit of fiction involving our character doesn't work with what is really going on in the game.

8) Finally, do the usual bits of social lubrication. Be on time. Do what you say you're going to do. Bring food, if appropriate. Don't mooch. Don't delay. Attend to personal hygiene. If you can't make it, make sure that everyone knows that in advance. Be gracious and say thank you to whoever is hosting.

*) Most of these (if not all) apply equally well to GMs.

GMs, what other things should players do? Players, what other things should GMs do?